Akatsuki go to Hawaii
by Sono Akatsuki
Summary: The Akatsuki go on a holiday in Hawaii. How will it turn out?
1. Going To Hawaii!

Another RP with Scara :D I'm Pein, Dei, Itachi, Kisame and Kakuzu, she's the rest. Next chappie will be added when we RP again. Yay, starting to get better and learning how to use this site xD Sorry if my writing sucks, just started RPing and writing last month.

* * *

Pein walked back in forth in his office. He just sent Konan to go get everyone, and bring them back to his office. He had a special surprise for them all, they were going to go on a holiday in Hawaii.

The others had came under Konan's order. "Oh Sempai, what is leader-sama going to tell us?" Tobi said to the artist, looking at him through the one hole in his lollipop mask. The others just...came in and Hidan was surpsingly quiet, but looked like he wanted to start swearing up a storm, probably from being interupted in his daily ritual.

Pein stood, while the Akatsuki members assembled in front of him. He clapped his hands together and started to speak. "So, we've been working hard collecting the Bijuu. So far we have all of them except the Hachibi and the Kyuubi. So it has become decided that we are going to Hawaii for a weeklong vacation" Pein stated to the Akatsuki. Kakuzu looked up at Pein, hearing the news. A trip to Hawaii would be expensive. "Leader-sama, how much will this all cost?" Kakuzu growled through his mask. "Actually... it's all free. I have forced-- no wait, made a deal with a hotel there for our reservations." Pein said to Kakuzu. Kakuzu relaxed, hearing that this would not cost him any of his money.

"Hawaii! Tobi has never been there before!" Tobi said in excitment. Sasori looked...the same as aways. Hidan was probably thinking that the vacation woud mean that he can do his daily ritual whenever he wanted...Zetsu just talked to himself while Konan just stood there, not saying anything for she knew the news obviously.

Itachi just sat there, his same emotionless face on. Kisame was bouncing around saying that he's going to meet lots of fishies and maybe a shark. Deidara, was busy hitting Tobi on the head in a comical fashion. "So then, head to your rooms and pack up! We leave tonight!" Pein exclaimed.

"Ow! Sempai, that hurt!" Tobi wailed imaturely. The others left mysteriously (Ooooweeeoooo lol just wanted to do that) to go pack up. "Hey hey...We only have Hachibi, Kyuubi...and I'm Tobi, duh." (I just totally ripped off what he said to Dei when they were looking for Ichibi xD)

Deidara strangled Tobi, homer simpson style(XD I like how he chokes bart) and left to go back to his room.

Tobi was strangled and then after Deidara left went to his room, looking like a sad little kicked puppy. Now he went to go pack.

Kakuzu had his bag in front of him on his bed. He was wondering what to bring. He packed his piggybank, he slept with it every night and had nightmares about people stealing his money without it. He decided to pack lots of underwear, with money signs on them. He packed some clothes and a swimsuit and closed it up.

Hidan just packed...whatever the kind Hidan packs. (I'unno what he does! XD) Tobi made sure that hissecret stash of chocolate came with him...well, small secret stash but it was a stash. Konan packed her essentials that a woman needs (Poor pein) And zetsu just packed clothes. Whatever does a man with a split personality and a venus fly trap on his head need?

Deidara packed lots of clay. He's going to need it incase Tobi bugs him. He packed some hair ties and some clothes and a bathing suit. Itachi and Kisame were in their room. Itachi sat on his bed crossed legged. Kisame glanced at the Uchiha's bag. It had chocolate and... lots of nail polish. Kisame packed just some normal clothes and some bandages for his Samehada. Pein packed just some normal clothes and such aswell.

"Tobi's done!" Tobi said as his bag was filled with clothes, god knows /what/ that was and chocolate. (Me too lol) And...there was something moving in his bag but Tobi paid it no mind.

Deidara just facepalmed as he glanced at Tobi's messy bag. There was some creature lurking in there, but he didn't want to know what the hell it was.

Tobi grabbed his bags and stood at the frame of the door. "C'mon sempaiiii~ We're going on va-ca-tion~"

* * *

An hour later, the Akatsuki arrived at the airport. They had to take four taxis to fit all their stuff that they all packed. Pein handed the drivers the money they owed them and Kakuzu was complaining that they could of just walked and saved their moneys.

Zetsu had to be in the same car as Konan so she could make sure the driver wasn't eaten and majority of their stuff went in there. The rest of the Akatsuki grabbed their bags and headed into the airport. "This is exciting Sempai! I never went on an airplane before!" The childish lollipop mask wearing man said.

Deidara glared harshly at his partner and walked on, pulling his luggage behind him. Pein looked at the flight tickets he held. "All right everyone, the plane number is #7, look out for that number in here and don't wander".

Tobi continued to announce the obvious like 'OH WOW look there's carpet on the floor!' Hidan was glaring at Tobi. He was in a very bad mood. He had just learned, from Konan who was just talking to Pein, about how long the flight's going to take. "F*ck, I'm going to miss my daily ritual for Jashin." He growled to himself then wondered if he could do it in the airplane bathroom...Zetsu eyed everyone and started to drool. Sasori was in his puppet form, making out as that creepy old fart.

Kisame and Itachi were behind everyone. Kisame had a really long suitcase because Pein had told him not to carry Samehada in public. Kisame had to help Itachi along because the Uchiha was bumping into poles and signs muttering that they lacked hatred.

So there they arrived at Gate 7 as Tobi sat down, sighing from tiredness. Then their plane landed and people came out of it in a single file line. "Hey Sempai~" Tobi said, pointing at the plane. "That looks like one of your art!" Sasori glared at Tobi and shook his head. He hated this waiting game as the passengers continued to pour out like ants in a line.

"That looks nothing like my art, un" Deidara growled at Tobi. Pein was handing the flight attendant their tickets and motioning them to come.

'Finally.' Sasori thought as he made his puppet move towards the inside of the plane. Tobi blinked with his one good eye socket. "You right it looks better!" Tobi said, then ran towards the entrance to the plane.

Deidara's eye twitched when he heard Tobi say... that the ugly plane looked better then his amazing artwork. He would of blown the masked man to the other side of the world if he had his clay but the Leader took all his clay from him earlier. Itachi followed behind Deidara as he made his way to the plane. Itachi bumped into a truck. Itachi felt the truck with his fingers. "Sasuke!!! It's you! Foolish little brother! You are too weak. Do you know why? Because you lack hatred." Itachi then slapped the truck and used Amaterasu on it and continued on his way to the plane. Kisame just facepalmed and followed the Uchiha.

Tobi made it inside the plane and sat at the window making all kinds of childish noises out of complete excitment. "What the f*ck Itachi?" Hidan growled. "Geez, blow you f*cking brother up some OTHER time." He murmured. Everyone else followed suit.

Deidara entered the plane. First thing he did was sit in the seat FARTHEST away from Tobi. Itachi and Kisame came on and sat near the front. Itachi was talking to the window and Kisame was leaning back, with his eyes closed. Kakuzu made his way towards the back and place a suitcase on the seat beside him. He opened it and smiled. There was lots of his beautiful money in it. He started kissing the money, not caring about the odd looks he was getting.

Zetsu sat by himself, all the way to the back as he could watch delicious morsels walk in. Tobi ran from his seat and pounced on the chair next to Deidara and ran back to his chair and repeated this. And continued to repeat it

Deidara was getting extremely annoyed by Tobi. He got up and made his way to the washroom in the back and locked himself inside it. Pein got in the plane next and sat in a seat near the middle so he can keep an eye on everyone. He wasn't too sure if this was a good idea, but it was too late now.

Konan sat next to Pein, looking around at the other members. Except for Zetsu. Hidan had to sit next to Kakuzu and barely tolerated his obsession with money. Zetsu...continued to stare and drool. Tobi continued his routine.

Deidara put the toilet seat down and sat on it. He pulled out a small bag. He actually had some clay with him. He had kept it hidden from Pein and restrained himself somehow when he wanted to blast up Tobi. He molded some clay into a bird and let it fly foward, then making it explode into mini fireworks. "Yeah, un!" Deidara yelled loudly, but then he remembered he... was on a plane and everyone most likely heard him.

"Sempaiii~" Tobi said, running to the bathroom. "What was that sempai?" Tobi asked curiously. Konan kept her eye fixed on the door. "I thought you took away all of his clay." She murmured to Pein. "...Deidara's sometimes too smart for his own good."

Deidara finally got bored, and opened the door loudly. He didn't bother answering Tobi and just sat in his seat again, looking out the window and trying to ignore everything. Kakuzu was still... making out with his money, Itachi got bored of talking to the window and fell asleep with a big snot bubble coming out of his nose as he slept. Kisame was watching the plane's television. They had one of his favourite movies on. Finding Nemo. Pein rested his head on the chair since the Akatsuki were starting to settle down. He sighed, and tried closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Konan was alert and awake, constantly noticing that some of the passengers suddenly disappeared from the plane. Tobi sulked and sat on his chair that was far away from Deidara, tucking his feet on the chair and sat that way. Hidan finall got fed up and got up and went to the bathroom. The stench of blood filled the plane a few minutes later.

Deidara got bored and decided to listen to some music. He put on the headphones beside him and tuned into a radio station. They were playing 'Dude looks like a lady'. He hated that song too much. He ripped off his headphones and threw them at Tobi for his amusement.

Tobi felt something hit his head as he fell forward, he feet on the ground as he rubbed his head as he found the music player behind him and put it on. They were still palying the song as Tobi started to sing it out loud.

Deidara's head whipped around as soon as he heard Tobi singing. He was about to get up and beat up his partner untill Pein glared at him, not to try anything funny. Deidara sweatdropped at the Leader's freaky stare and sat back down, crossing his arms.

The song ended, much to Deidara's pleasure. The Tobi went eeriely silent. Even Konan watched him sternly for his abnormal silence. Almost all the passengers in the back have now suddenly disappeared.

Kakuzu eyed a person sitting in front of him. He wore a suit, a top hat and had a fancy cane. Kakuzu started to make his threads sneak towards the mans pocket and pull his wallet out. He quickly made the threads come back and stared at the wallet, smiling hugely.

Then Tobi suddenly to sing again and started doing weird dancing movements, more of that it consisted of him putting his heads near his head and flapping his hands around and continued to do that. (Carameldansen LOL) Konan decided not to watch anymore and looked behind her, sweatdropping that only Deidara remained behind her and Zetsu.

Deidara fell half asleep. His eyes barely opened. The artist was having a hard time staying awake since there wasn't anything he could do. He looked over at Kisame and Itachi. They were both asleep and.... hugging each other in their sleep? Deidara chuckled a bit and used his scope to take a picture to blackmail them later. He looked out the window and watched the clouds roll by.

Tobi ran towards Deidara again after that song ended and sat next to him. "Sempaiii~" He said. "This is yours ne?" Tobi said, holding out the music player. Then the flight attendant (For long flights they do this) Started handing out food. "Oooh! Tobi is hungry!" Tobi said with excitment

Deidara glared at the music player on his lap. He decided to see what music was playing and turned it on. It started playing 'I'm a barbie girl' Deidara threw the player on the floor and stompped all over it.

"Poor music player...let it rest in peace." Tobi said as the flight attendant finally got to him so there was fresh airplane food (It's edible but it's like hospital food...but tastier) as Tobi squealed in delight as he put his hand on his mask in order to remove it

Deidara grabbed some of the food the flight attendant handed out. He sat down and clasped his hands together "Itadakimasu~" He said before he started eating but then, he started to watch his partner.

Tobi started to remove the mask. Konan suddenly realized the flight attendant also suddenly disappeared and Zetsu held a sheepish grin on both halves of his face

Deidara munched on some of the.. odd airplane food. He watched closely as his partner started to remove his mask. Sweat making it's way down his face as he eyed Tobi closely.

But, just like at the shop, Tobi turned his head suddenly and gulped the chicken down. "Delicious!" He said has he placed his mask back on before anyone saw his face from that side of the plane. The Chciken was now a neat pile of bones. Tobi ate fast, apparently

Deidara stared at Tobi. His inner Deidara was all angry, he was actually quite curious about Tobi's face. He started to eat some more food untill he was full and put the plate down.

Tobi turned back to Dei and well, smiled but of course you couldn't see it. "That was delicious! But I rather eat the food we have at the Akatsuki base..." Tobi murmured, as if he was homesick. Konan realized Zetsu moved closer to them and eventually went in front of them, sitting in Tobi's old seat, which was nearly in the front

Deidara ignored his partner and went back to watching the clouds. It seemed much more intresting now to watch them. Kakuzu was still snatching people's wallets. He had a pile of money beside him, each with a name. Itachi and Kisame were still sleeping, Itachi was mumbling about that milk had too much hatred, and Kisame was making swimming motions. Pein started to notice Zetsu now too. He looked back, the seats were empty except of the akatsuki members.

Konan looked back as well and once she looked back at Zetsu, there was only one person, beside shte pilot and copilot and another flight attendant, that wasn't the Akatsuki member still on the plane. Sasori was grumbling impatiently

Just then an anouncement was made. "We will be landing in Hawaii in 5 minutes. Please prepare your bags and get ready to get off soon". Deidara stretched. "Finally, un!" He said as he rotated his shoulders. Itachi and Kisame started to wake. They realised they were sort of snuggling together and jumped back blushing. Kakuzu place his money in his suitcase and smiled under his mask.

Hidan got out, dripping with blood. Konan seemed to be in a slight terrible mood as she watched Zetsu like a hawk so that the last passenger doesn't die. Sasori sighed innerly. Finally, they were gunna go. And he could finally get out of Hiruko (Or w/e) Why he was in there? So fangirls wouldn't crowd for 'sasodei'.


	2. Hotel

Deidara glued himself to the window as the plane began to descend. He watched as the plane began to fall through the clouds untill the airport was in sight. "Finally, un!" He said excitedly and jumped up but banged his head on the ceiling and fell over in a comical fashion.

"Haha! Sempai hurt himself!" Tobi said, standing up and hitting his head as well. This minor distraction made Konan's head tur to see them, then turned to Zetsu and found the remaining passenger was gone. "..." Sasori shifted off towards the end of the plane as 'the old guy'

The plane stopped and the flight attendants opened the doors. Itachi was heading out the door but--- The stairs weren't there so he just fell and faceplanted on the ground. Kisame was screaming Itachi's name and jumped out the window after his partner.

Konan watched the two jump out, sighing as she waited for the stairs. Zetsu held a satisfied grin. "Waht the f*ck are you looking at?" Hidan growled. Tobi cried a little "Sempai my head hurtsssss" he whinned.

Deidara just hit Tobi on the head and headed for the exit. He stepped down the stairs untill he reached the ground. "Ahh finally, un!" Deidara said happily untill he realised how much hotter it was in Hawaii. He started to head towards the cool air conditioned place which was called the airport, not bothering to wait for the others.

"Owwww Deidara Sempai wait for meeee~" Tobi said, chasing after him. Konan stepped down the stairs after zetsu, keepign a close eye on him. Hidan did th same, grumbling something

Pein headed down the steps, arms crossed and not really looking where he was going. He ended up tripping on a step and falling down the stairs untill he reached the bottom all twisted and... uncomfortable looking. Itachi was right next to him, still on the ground. He heard someone land next to him, but couldn't see who. "Hey, babe can I get your number?" Itachi said cooly. Pein had a serious WTF face going on with his right eye twitching. He smacked Itachi and got up, dusted himself and headed towards the airport.

"Wheeee~ Sempai look there's some pretty girls in grass skirts. (Yes they actually do do that.) and they are dancing to preyy music!" Tobi said, stating the obvious. "Foood...." Zetsu said

Deidara looked at the girls in grass skirts. His eyes stopped on a girl with blond hair, in the same style as his. The girl locked eyes with him and smiled, blushing a bit. Deidara looked at the girl and did a big lion roar somehow. The girl's eyes widened and she stepped back, tripping on her skirt and crawled back as far as she could from Deidara. Deidara stood with a victory smile on his face. "HAWAII PEOPLE NONE DEIDARA ONE, UN!" And he started running around with his arms outstretched knocking over people as he ran about untill he tripped over a chair(lots of tripping going on here o-o)

"...Deidara's gone mad, un." Tobi said, giggling to himself that he just used Deidara's catch phrase. "Yummy..." Zetsu said, but saw the hawk look in Konan's eyes and kept walking, wlaking over the tripped Deidara and going down an escalator to get their stuff.

Pein entered the airport finally, Kisame behind him dragging the Uchiha by his arm. Pein headed towards a Tim Hortons(Now I gotta put this in the story after that talk about it D:) And bought some Timbits. He stuffed his mouth full with them untill he looked like a chimpmunk with crumbs all over his face and skipped towards the escalator. Kisame watched his leader skip by and sweatdropped. Itachi was beginning to stir, after being knocked out by Pein's slap. He looked up and barely saw Kisame's outline and noticed he was holding on to him. Kisame looked over at the Uchiha and saw him staring at... him. Itachi smiled and Kisame began to blush. "Itachi...." "Kisame.... I SMELLS CHICKEN!" Itachi jumped up and ran foward running into a random pole and falling over. Kisame sighed.

Tobi watched Itachi and sweatdropped. "But Itachi-san, there's no chic--I SMELL CHICKENS!' Tobi flew down the escalator. There were actual chickens in the airport (I've never seen any, but with the chickens here, god knows where they could be.) And a small pig. (Yes, a pig. I've never seen either but i wouldn't put it past either.) "Let's sacrifice them to Jashin..."

Kakuzu was last to come in the airport. He wanted to be behind everyone so he can pick pocket people without the others yelling at him. He began doing rolls like a ninja and humming 'Ninja of the night'. "I used my Chinese star to pick the locks and steal your car!" Kakuzu whispered to him self the song as he hid in the shadows. He waited untill a wealthy looking person in highheels, a sparkly dress and... a big purse stopped in front of him as she checked her cell phone. He used his threads to grab her wallet from her purse and quickly hid again before she realised. He put the wallet in his back pocket and rolled around to the other side and stood up. "Score!!!" Kakuzu yelled happily. The lady turned around and looked at him. "Hey there big boy!" She-- he perhaps said in a deep manly voice. Kakuzu's eye twitched but he walked away with his prized winnings.

Hidan blinked as they were going to the terminal now to grab their bags and their they had to wait. "Pein." Konan said, sweatdropping. "Since Zetsu...ate all the other passengers, do we take their bags too?" She murmured. Tobi sat on it and waved at Dei. Then the machine started as Tobi tried to jump off, but his cloak got stuck in there, so he was waving frantically as he whirled around slowlyThe first bag came and crashed onto Tobi. "Sempai help meeeee."

Deidara crossed him arms watching Tobi helplessy caught in the machine. "Nah, I think I'm going to leave you in there, un" He said with an evil grin. Pein crossed his arms, standing next to Konan. "I think we should take their bags. We might be found out if all the bags are still here later on. Perhaps we can sell their stuff for some money for the organiza--" "DID SOMEONE DAY MONEY?" Kakuzu yelled, his head poking out of a flowerpot, a daisy drooping over his face.

"Sempaiiiii" Tobi said as another bag buried him. Konan nodded and started removing the bags. Zetsu helped and Hidan, surprisngly, did. "Kakuzu, help us, and I'll give you the richest looking bag with probably lots of money in it." Hidan murmured. Konan puleld the bags off Tobi and picked up his mask. "Where did Tobi go, Deidara? He left his mask."

"I don't know, and I don't care, un" Deidara growled at Konan, and grabbed his bag. Kakuzu jumped out of the pot, how he fit in there, only god knows. He already had his bags with him, he wasn't going to leave them alone where some person could take his stuff. He began grabbing whatever bags that looked like they contained valuable stuff.

Tobi came out of the sea of bags. "Tobi wants to know where his mask is!" Tobi said as Konan blinked at him. "...Here's your mask back..." she murmured. Tobi put that mask on his other mask and sounded happy. "So that's how you look like without the mask." Konan said sarcastically

Deidara scratched the back of head. His idiot partner didn't wear just one lollipop mask but... two? Deidara then began to search for his bags. He finally found two with a clay bird drewn on them with the words 'Dei's Stuff' Written under it. Itachi and Kisame finally came down, the Uchiha fainted again and being dragged by Kisame. Pein already had his stuff and was sitting on a bench with his legs crossed reading a book.

They finally managed to grab all the bags, and they soon discovered that it was A LOT of bags. "So how the f*ck are we gunna get this all? Make zetsu eat it and throw it up?" Hidan growled.

Suddenly Kakuzu was running down the escalator with that... he-she person from before running after him. "Help, a mad man is running after meeeee~!" Kakuzu shouted, speeding by with the guy right on his heels.... running while wearing heels aswell, I have no idea how you run like that. So Kakuzu found a McDonalds and hopped over the register, the little kids crying because he knocked over their fries. Kakuzu ran through the kitchen but... it was a dead end. He turned around to see the creepy guy creeping closer to him. Security began to come. They came into the kitchen and tried to grab them both but he broke free from their grip. He then grabbed a bottle of ketchup. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS!" He shouted as he began to squirt ketchup on the suits they were wearing. "OSHIT TOMATOES STAIN! RUN AWAYYYY". Kakuzu was victorious untill he noticed the guy was right behind him. Kakuzu slowly turned around and screamed like a little girl, crashing through the wall, leaving a Kakuzu shaped hole in it.

"What the f*ck is that?" Hidan growled, wathcing Kakuzu be chased by the man-lady and...then disappearing. Sasori jumped out of the old man, having no choice, and stuffed the extra bags inside of them. "Thank me later...I hate waiting." He murmured. "SASODEIIIII~" Fangirls started screaming in the airport. Konan and Hidan were quick to leave. "Sempai! Look! The fangirls ahve rope!"

Deidara was being chased by fangirls. "Why do they only come out when Sasori no danna comes out of that stupid puppet, un?" Deidara thought to himself. He quickly made a turn to the left and lost the fangirls long enough to make a clay clone of himself and sent it to the direction they went. "There, we're safe for a while un."

Sasori just disappeared and Hiruko moved by itself mysteriously. Tobi decided to look for Kakuzu so they could leave, with all the bags checked as Zetsu mysteriously fisappeared as the screaming fangirls died off one by one

Kakuzu fell through the ceiling and fell on the floor in front of Pein. Pein sweatdropped and grabbed him, beginning to drag Kakuzu out of the airport. Kisame and Itachi had their bags, the Uchiha awake again. Itachi walked up the man-lady who was looking for Kakuzu. He squinted a bit. "Hey Leader-sama! I feel the force from the chickens!" Then he proceeded to give him a hug untill. "Hey Leader, I didn't know you had boobs. L-o-l" Then the Uchiha skipped off and tripped over some fat little boy eating a big hamburger. "Sorry ma'am, I didn't see you there!" "He barely sees at all" Kisame said while he watched the kid cry and Itachi skip away again. "Billy what's the matter?" Surprisingly the mom/dad.. I'm not sure was the man-lady. The kid spat out a bite from the burger. "It tastes like burning!" He whined. Kisame headed towards the insane Uchiha partner of his who was spinning around the airport, dragging him outside aswell.

"Just keep walking Hidan...jsut keep walking..." He growled. "Hey Leader! Where the hell are we going anyhow?" He barked at Pein. Zetsu followed them all last, smiling as his hungry was fulfilled and the fangirls was no more.

Pein opened a booklet and read. "Well, there should be someone outside holding a sign saying 'Akatsuki'. They'll drive us to a hotel that is reserved for us and that's where we're staying. Deidara then walked out of the airport. There you're all, un!" He said while eating a burger. "Gyahhhh! This tastes like burning, un!" Deidara yelled as he spat out the burger, threw it on the ground and stepped on it angerly.

"Poor burger...you barely had time to live." Tobi whimpered. "Tobi, throw a funeral later." Konan said as Sasori was still magically delici--disappeared. Hidan was probably cursing in his mind and got in a worse and worse mood.

Pein looked around, he then spotted the 'Akatsuki' sign. "THERE I SEE THE HAPPY SIGN, LET US GO" He exclaimed, pointing to the left. As he approached the person holding the sign, his jaw dropped open. "Y-you-you are---!"

It was Oorochimaru doing the thriller dance. Tobi decided it looked fun and forgot about the hamburger funeral and joined him. "Deidara, your new partner is a brat." Sasori murmured to him. Where the hell did he come from. Suddenly all the sasodei fangirl swarmed them. "Grr...Kakuzu help me kill them all and I'll pay you." Hidan growled. "This is going to be one hell of a vacation." Konan murmured pesstimistically. Zetsu smiled at thim.

Kakuzu came up beside Hidan and faced the fangirls. "I'm going to eat your hear." He said in some high pitched-witch like voice. Deidara walked up to Tobi and stuck his finger in his eye hole. Pein just facepalmed and shooked his head from side to side.

"Deidara sempai that hurtsssss" Tobi wailed when he did that. Hidan and Kakuzu went to killing as zetsu disposed of the dead bodies. Sasori sighed as he opened up Hiroku and uncomfortbly got in and now was in Hiruko so no more fangirls would come.

Orochimaru then finished his dance. "Alright get in the car!" He said, blowing a kiss to the members. He pointed behind him. A van, shaped like a white snake was behind him. He had a Sasuke bobblehead in the front. Pein's eye twitched. Itachi closely looked at the front of the van. "FOOLISH BROTHER, YOUR LACK HATRED! AMATERASU!" Black flames flew onto the glass. "NUUUU, NOT MY OROCHIMOBILE!" Orochimaru flung himself onto the Uchiha, causing him to lose his focus and the flames to go out.

"..." All members were speechless. "...I think I'm going to walk." Sasori said, shifting away from the van. "Seriously..." Hidan agreed after all the fangirls were killed and gave Kakuzu a hundred dollars. "Sooo why do we have the gay snake guy again?" "I'M NOT GAY!" "But you want Sasuke's body." "...Ew." Konan murmured

Pein crossed his arms and faced the members. Get in, or else. I paid good money for... it" Orochi waved happily "To drive us to the hotel." Pein jumped into the van and motioned the other to come in, glaring at them with a come-in-or-die look. Deidara sighed and hopped in, Kisame came next helping the Uchiha in, sitting him as far as possible from the Sasuke bobblehead.

Tobi went to go get Sasori and threw the old guy puppet in and landed, ironically, on Deidara. Tobi hoped in. Konan sat next to Pein, sighing and Zetsu sat in the front, staring at the sasuke bobblehead and licked his lips. Hidan jumped in, grumbling something.

Kakuzu then came in last, squishing everyone as he made room. Orochi then slammed the doors shut and sat in the drivers seat. He turned on the van and headed on the highway. "Mmmhmm, I think we need musics!" He pressed play on the stereo and Michael Jackson music started playing. "Oh, hell no, un!" Deidara complained, covering his ears.

"Deidara Sempai your hands are licking the inside of your ears!" Tobi pointe dout "THEY WANT YOUR BRAIN! I'LL SAVE YOU!" He said, dive bombing towards him. Sasori something scruffled away in teh cramped car as Tobi landed on Deidara. He shifted to the back, incase Deidara blew up the van.

"What the hell, Tobi you idiot, get off un!" Deidara commanded, attempting to push him off. Pein sighed. "I'm hungry" He mummbled. Suddenly Kabuto popped out from the floor. "I have burgers!" He said happily, holding a tray piled with burgers on it.

Tobi screamed like a little girl and jumped off Deidara, shivering on Hidan. "Get off of me!" He growled as he was pushed onto Zetsu. "Yummy." Tobi screamed again and jumped on Hiroku, opened him and threw Sasori out and crawled in. Sasori landed on Dei, again. Sasori blinked, got off of him and opened Hiroku and threw Tobi out the window.

"Tobi is blasting off again!" Itachi said, staring in a different direction. Kisame facepalmed. "Itachi...." "That's what she said!" Itachi yelled, pointing to a burger. Orochimaru started singing along to the music, causing Dei to cover his ears again. His handmouthes bit him on the ear. "Ow, un!" Deidara yelled. Blood started to drip. "OSHIT IM BLEEDING, HELP UN!!!"

"Ugh." Sasori said, crawling on people and sat next to him, getitng out an array of badnages and put a bandaid on his hear. "You're hopeless, brat..." Sasori murmured. Tobi hung on, sniffling from the bumper.

"Thanks danna, un" Deidara said, doing the finger thing Hinata does. Kakuzu had all the burgers on his lap, saying he was going to sell them to all the fat little kiddies. Pein then saw the hotel up ahead. "We're almost there!"

Then splat! There was a randomf fangirl screamign SASODEI and having a nosebleed, then fell off the car as the van shifted,as if it was running over a large object. "Finally! EWW TOBI HAS BLOOD! TOBI HAS BLOOD ON HIS FACE!" Tobi screamed from the back. Sasori sighed in defeat.

The van stopped suddenly. "WE'RE HERE~!" Orochi yelled, opening the door and running around. He opened the doors for everyone, Pein glared at him. "Can I rejoin Akats-" "No."

Sasori and his puppet was the second to leave, for Tobi was already outside, covered in blood and screaming bloody murder. "Tch, we had to have a hotel accross some weird glass building ting?" Hidan said, glaring at it then blinked. "Well hello sexy~" He said, upon his own reflection.

Kakuzu hit Hidan on the head once he got out. Deidara got out at the other side, stretching and laughing at Tobi. Pein got out and headed to the hotel. Kisame and Itachi got out right after Pein. "Agh, the light, eet burns!" Itachi screamed out, hiding in Kisame's shadow. Kisame sighed, stepping to the left. The Uchiha rolled to the left aswell, once again in Kisame's shadow.

"What the f*ck was that for?!" Hidan growled. "Tobi's a good boy..." Tobi yelped in pain, following Deidara. Konan came out. pretending she didn't know anyone. Zetsu walked out and was hungry again. ut it wasn't like no one knew THAT. And Sasori just walked out.

Pein entered the hotel lobby. He walked over to the receptionist, where she was sitting there reading a book from the Icha Icha Paradise. She looked up, looking a bit frightend "Uh, what can I do for you?" "I have arrangements for me and my.. er friends to stay here a week in this hotel. Under the name 'Akatsuki'" The receptionist flipped through a book that was on the desk. "Ah yes, you have all the rooms on the top floor" She handed him lots of keys, then went back to reading her book. Pein went back to the lobby, sitting on one of the couches they had there.

Hidan grumbled on the couch, wanting to do another ritual that he couldn't fully complete in the airplane's bathroom. Zetsu watched people walk by, almost smiling at them. Konan sat on another couch, glaring at Zetsu. Tobi clung to Deidara. "Sempaiiiii." Sasori was in his old puppet, well aware that fangirls were right behind him, waiting to squeal.

Pein threw each member a key. "Here's your bedroom key, go find your room and shut up". He got up and walked to the stairs, going up towards his room. "I wonder if he still remembers, we're on the top floor" Kisame said, crossing his arms. "How many floors are in this hotel anyways?" Kakuzu asked. "IT'S OVAR 9000!" Itachi yelled, jumping up. Kisame sighed, once again at his partner. Deidara glared at the fan girls behind his danna. "Hey Hidan i'll give you five bucks if you go all 'sacrifice for Jashin' on 'em, un"

Hidan blinked at him, then the fangirls. "F*ck yeah." He said, making his little sytchy appear and chased the fangirls. "Go get your partner when you can, Kakuzu." Konan murmured, following Pein. Ztsu followed Hidan for obvious reasons, well was, until Konan went and dragged him with her. Sasori shuffled towards Deidara. "Thanks."

"Heh, no problem danna, un. That five bucks was a fake anyways, yeah" Deidara said with an evil grin on his face. Meanwhile, Pein was still going up the stairs. "HOW MANY FUCKING STAIRS ARE THERE?!" Pein complained loudly, sweating and panting. Kakuzu was sitting on the couch, his head on his hand. "Hey Hidan, I wont stop you aslong as you don't get blood all over their wallets when you're done." Kisame stood up, grabbing Itachi's sleeve and leading him towards the elevator.

"Gotcha." Hian said, obviously not caring as he striked one girl at a time. Zetsu took the wallets out and elft them there, out of the blood, and ate the bodies. Konan was flying happily on a paper crane next to Pein. She failed to realize Zetsu (somehow) escaped her grasp and was eating bodies. Tobi was...strangely nowhere to be found. Sasori shuffled towards the elevador, the SMART way of travel

Pein eventually collapsed on the stairs. "Oh, my god. How many floors are in this hotel anyways?" He could just hear Itachi as the elevator passed that floor shout out 'It's over 9000!'. Downstairs, Kakuzu was grabbing all the wallets on the ground, money signs in his eyes. Deidara got up and ran towards the elevator Sasori was going towards.

Sasori went in the elevador, hoping Deidara wouldn't, for once, make him wait. Tobi was STILL strangely nowhere to be seen. Konan had her paper crane bird pick Pein up and fly. Hida killed them all and no wallets got bloody and there were nobodies, except for a chesire smile from Zetsu. "You freak...don't f*cking smile like that. Ever. That's as bad as Itachi smiling..."

"ACHOOOO~!" Itachi wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Maybe someone is talking about you" Kisame chuckled. "Of course, since I am the great weasel!" Itachi said proudly, puffing out his chest. Deidara slid in the elevator as the door was closing. The edge of his cloak getting caught. "Oh shoot, un". Kakuzu was sitting in the third elevator, counting his money. He looked through some of the wallets. "Hmmm, this one has only twenty bucks, poor kid." He pulled out a coupon. Kakuzu's eye twitched at what it said, but suddenly the elevator made a big 'BANG' noise and jumped up suddenly. Kakuzu looked up, noticing that the light that showed what floor he was on was going down quickly. "ON NOES, I'M GOING TO CRASH AND BURN AT THE BOTTOM, I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" 


	3. Fangirls

"Tobi will save you Sempai!" Tobi said, already in the elevador and took his cloak off completely before the elevador closed. "Yay! I can sell this on ebay!" Hidan now was waiting on the elevadors, but got pissed off and forced it open and went inside. "...I hear something." He looked up. "Holy sh--" Boom.

Kakuzu was holding onto the sides of the elevator, shaking. He looked down to see what looked like a Hidan shaped bump on the floor. "Yay, I'm aliiiivvveee~!!" Kakuzu sang happily, spinning around and skipping. Deer and birds suddenly appeared, dancing and singing with Kakuzu. Meanwhile, finally someone reached the top floor. Ping! The door opened and Kisame and Itachi stepped out. "Well let's see I'm room number 713." "Keee-saaaa-meeee, whaaa-t r-room am I?" Itachi asked, wobbling a bit. "What the hell, Itachi you're arn't drunk! Well let's see... you're room 714". Kisame grabbed the Uchiha and pulled him towards his room. "There, now go take a nap or something." "Kisame... what do I do with this?" Itachi asked, shaking the keys in front of his face. "Hold it, love it and have children with it" Kisame replied sarcasticly. Itachi on the otherhand took his advice for real, kissing the keys and making out with it on the floor. "Kisame... just walk away" he thought, taking a few steps from the Uchiha and going into his room.

Hidan crawled from under the elevador. "I ALMOST DIED UNDER THERE SO F*CK YOU!" He shouted. Zetsu oked him and got on the first elevador. Sasori and Deidara and Tobi's elevador finally got there as Tobi ran fast with Deidara's cloak and somehow stripped Deidara entirely while he wasn't looking and disappeared somewhere in the many rooms. Sasori turned his back on Deidara. 'Don'tlookdon'tlookdon't'

Deidara looked down, seeing that Tobi took most of his clothes, leaving him in his boxers. "Stupid Tobi, i'm going to blow you up, un!" He yelled in the hallway. Deidara started to walk foward untill he tripped on something. He rolled over on the floor and saw Itachi making out with his keys. "Hey Itachi, what the hell are you doing, un?" "Making out with my wife." "You married some keys, un?" "Yup" "....Cool, un. What's her name?" "Itakey Ukeyha" "Nice name, un" "Want to join?" "I think i'll pass, un" Deidara replied, standing up and dusting himself off.

Sasori continued to walk until he found his room and jumped out of Hiruko and opened the door, going in with Hiroku and majority of their bags and closed the door. He did NOT know any of them. Meanwhile, on ebay, Tobi was in his room. "WOW! Deidara's cloak is going for 400! Maybe I can make more if I chop some off! Because Tobi is a good boy!"

Deidara went in his room. He was in room 710(xD That's my apartment number). He put his bag on the bed, opening it up to get some clothes. Went he was looking through he realised... this was not his stuff. He pulled out a weird puppet. "Must be danna's, un" He said. He closed the bag, and went in the hallway. "SASORI NO DANNA, UN, WHERE ARE THOU?" "Shut up you kids, me and my wife are busy!" Itachi complained from the ground. "We're going to have 3 kids named Monkey, Turkey and Donkey!" Deidara sweatdropped.

'It's the brat.' Sasori thought as he rumaged through Hiruko and found he indeed had Deidara's stuff and cleverly put the bags outside on the balcony (Huh he has one!) So Tobi could totally ninja and grab them. Sasori was an evil, evil puppetmaster. Sasori opened his door. "What, brat?"

"Danna, un I think our bags got switched" Deidara tossed Sasori's bag in front of his door. "Could I have mine back aswell, un? I need some clothes, un"

Sasori almost had a nosebleed but contained himself. "Oh." Sasori said, putting his bag on the bed. "Go look trough the bags in Hiruko. I don't know how yours looks like. Or maybe Tobi's selling that on ebay too."

Deidara poked Hiruko. "This thing is creepy, why do you hide in it all the time, un?" Deidara began searching through the bags. "No, no, no, no.... My bag isn't here, un"

"It's my favorite puppet, Deidara. And it's a shield for the fangirls not to start screaming. They're there, but they're not noisy." Sasori mrumured. "Then Tobi's selling it on ebay. Or Kakuzu has it and seling it on ebay."

"Great, un! I'm here on a week vacation and have nothing to wear but a pair of boxers! My clothes, clay and everything else was in my bag, un" Deidara said angerly crossing his arms. Meanwhile, downstairs. "You can't die, you idiot so don't go saying you almost did" Kakuzu growled at Hidan.

"Touche." Hidan said, blinking as the second elevador came. He went in it. In the room right next to them, Sasori could hear going "WOW CLAY CAN SELL FOR THAT MUCH?!" Sasori looked at the wall to avoid Deidara's mostly naked body. "Looks like you've found him."

Deidara stompped out of the room and started banging on the next door. "TOBI, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, UN!" Kakuzu was sitting in the elevator, once again heading to the top floor. He sat on the ground with his laptop on, surfing the web. Back upstairs, Kisame opened his door and looked out. "What's with all the yelling?" He looked down and saw that Itachi held his 'wife' in his hands. He had three little keys in front of him with sticky tabs on them saying 'Monkey' 'Turkey' and 'Donkey' Kisame just slowly slipped back in his room and locked the door.

Sasori saw this too and slammed the door and double locked it. 'That was disturbing.' He thought. Zetsu came, walked, and was in his room. "We're here." Konan said, arriving at the top at last. "But why Sempai~" Tobi said. "Tobi is a good boy! The fangirls are coming to get your clothes!"

"What do you mean, get my clothes, un?! You sold them on ebay!? I'm going to kil you, un!" Deidara started pounding on the door more loudly. Ping! The elevator door opened and there was... Kakuzu! He didn't care about what was happening in the hallway and went to his room.

Hidan followed suit to his own room. There was screaming outskide as a mob was forming around the hotel room. "Eek! Deidara Sempai is going to kill Tobi for being a good boy!" The maids came up with a suicase and put it next to Deidara. "The gentlemen in the room ordered that." They said, going away now.

Deidara glared at the suitcase. He picked it up and started to hit the door with it. "Tobi, un!" He shouted. "Hey, you're going to wake up my babies!" Itachi yelled over the loud banging. "Oh sorry un- Wait! They're just stupid keys, un!" Itachi started crying. "How dare you! They are my sons!" Itachi got up, sobbing and finally went into his room.

Finally the door broke down as Tobi was nowhere to be found, or Deidara's stuff. The bathroom door was closed and locked. If that didn't give it away, there was typing in the bathroom that did

Deidara stepped in, and started banging on the bathroom door with the suitcase again. Suddenly the suitcase broke open and something fell out of it. Deidara picked it up and it was a... MAID DRESS?! "Tobi, what the hell is this, un?!"

"I dn't know Sempai! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi whinned from the bathroom. Tobi turned on the shower. "Why can't you let me bathe in peace, sempaiiiii." Of course Tobi was just trying to make Deidara NOT break down the door by implying that he's naked and in the shower he just turned on...while he was clicking keys. Yeah, unlikely.

Deidara was still bangin on the door, wishing he had his clay. Meanwhile in Itachi's room.... Itachi was sitting crosslegged on the floor. His wife, Itakey Ukeyha beside him with his three sons 'sleeping' in front of him. Itachi was trying to feed them milk from a bottle. "Argh, just drink the milk already! ... Yes honey, I know i'm being a little mean to them, but they need to drink! ... Wh-why are you getting angry?! ... Your going to a hotel for the night? We're in one already! ... Don't you tell me you already knew that! ... Don't call me names, it's mean! ... A divorce?! But hone- ... No please, honey don't go!" Itachi was sobbing on the floor, his 'key wife' was getting a divorce with him.

Konan passed by Itachi room, sweatdropped at it and ran to her room. Poor Konan. Finally the door broke as The laptop was on the toilet seat and Tobi's body was half way in the metal venting shaft on the top. How he got there was a mystery. But none of Deidara's stuff was there. Tobi was apparently falling a little, unable to find good grip in there

Deidara, not looking up didn't see Tobi in the vent. He grabbed the laptop and looked at it. Tobi was selling his stuff on Ebay! Stupid Tobi. He looked under the sink, he wasn't there, he looked in the shower, no Tobi. "Hmmm..."

Tobi stayed still, sweatdropping that Deidara hadn't noticed him. He could tell, because he used his Sharigan to tell. He was growing very nervousas he decided to climb as softly back in as he could...then lost grip entirely, fell back and BOOM! Fell right on Deidara. Tobi didn't stay long at all, bolting from Deidara instantly yelling 'FREEDOM'

"GYYIAHRAHPPGGHHH!" Tobi landed on Deidara's head, pushing it into the toilet. Deidara got up and spat out some toilet water. "Bleh, un. Tobi, I'm not going to kill you anymore... I'm going to torture you for life, un!" Deidara yelled running out of the bathroom.

"HELP MEEEEEE!" Tobi said, running past Sasori's room as Sasori came out. "Deidara, I rummaged through Hiruko and found your clay. You msut've missed it." He said, putting it on the ground and going back in his room.

"Hehehehe, thanks danna, un" Deidara said evily, grabbing a hand-mouthful of clay. "Now Tobi gets it, un!" Deidara shouted loudly as his handmouth chewed the clay.

Tobi screamed as he ra down the staircase. He then decided it was more run to sit on tehr ailing and slide down. And it was going faster. "Wheee!" Konan decided not to ask what the rukus was going on outside because it died away...little did she know Deidara mgiht blow up the entire building

Suddenly Deidara's hand spat out the clay. "What the-- Danna, this isn't clay, It's play-doh, un!" Deidara yelled angerly, his mouth spitting out the disgusting clay wannabe.

Sasori giggled innerly in his room. "Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said, sliding down the railing, but smelt something brunign and got off. "TOBI IS ON FIRE!" He said, running around in circles on the same step...somehow.

Suddenly, Itachi stepped out from his room. "ME AND ITAKEY ARE GETTING A DIVORCE!" He yelled through tears. He then fell on the floor and pounded his fists on the ground multiple times until Kisame came out and dragged the Uchiha into his room.

Tobi was still running around, his pants on fire, quite literally. Hidan was going his full ritual to Jashin. Sasori was still giggling innerly at giving Deidara play-doh. Zetsu was in his room, basking on the sunlight of his room and Konan wondered why the hell she's in this organization.

Pein opened his door and stood in the hall way. "LISTEN!" He shouted angerly. "I want pie..." "Then order room service, un" Deidara replied. "BUT I AM TOO LAZY!" "Well that's not my problem, un!" Deidara yelled back at the leader. Pein looked defeated and went back to his room to go order some pie.

Tobi did the stop drop and go routine and crawled back up the stairs, only to see Deidara still blocking it. He was turned so Tobi slowly backed away, but that was easier said than done. He manged to walk a single step and tripped backwards. Luckily for him, he did tumble and fell comically downt he stairs and groaned on the few stairs his back landed on.

Deidara turned around he saw Tobi. Anger filled him as he ran foward, forgetting the stairs and falling down them aswell.

Tobi scooted away so DEidara fell next to him. Tobi stared at him and then started to burst out laughing. "Deidara Sempai is clumsy! Deidara Sempai is like Tobi! So Dei-chan is a good boy!"

"What the hell, un? Dei-chan?!" Deidara said to Tobi. He then remembered he was only in his boxers again. "Tobi, did you sell my clothes on ebay, un?!"

"Nooo Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said. "Well, the auction is ending in like..." Tobi looked at his watch (Wtf he has one?) "Now."

"Now, un?! Gah! Tobi you idiot! Who got my clothes, un?!" Deidara yelled at Tobi. "And when did you get a watch, un...?"

"I got it on ebay!" Tobi said proudly. "Uh, It was Puppet_Master." Meanwhile, in Sunagakure. "SWEET! Temari Gaara! I just won officially made Deidara Clothes!"

Deidara growled at Tobi. "Well go get me some clothes then you idiot, un!". "Hmmm... Puppet_Master.. it could of been Sasori no danna, un! The double crosser." Deidara then started to walk up the stairs.

Sasori sneezed as he ws polishing Hiruko and shook his head and continued polishing. Tobi held out the maid outfit he somehow carried with him without anyone noticing. "It's the only clothes, Sempai!" Tobi said

Deidara glared at Tobi. "Tobi... you didn't happen to plan all of this did you, un?"

"Tobi is dumb, remember?" Tobi said. "It was...ummm Puppet_Master! He told me everything in the Akatsuki Online Chat!"

"Hmmm. Fine give me the damn dress, un" Deidara surprisingly put on the maid outfit. "Only because I don't want to go around in my boxers, un. And who the hell is Puppet_Master?"

As Deidara was putting on the dress, Hidan came out of his room and saw Sasori leave his. 'Huh? Where the f*ck is the puppet freak going?' He thought as he followed him. Sasori walked down the stairs as Hidan followed him. Sasori got to the scene too. "D-Deidara?!" He said, covering his nose. "Kodak moment!" Hidan said, taking a picture of Deidara in the maid outfit and Sasori's sudden nosebleed. Tobi squeezed his way through the chaos and fled.

"It's because Tobi sold all my clothes online to some guy called Puppet_Master, un! Danna, was that you?" Deidara said, pointing to Sasori.

"Why would I buy your clothes, brat?" Sasori said, holding his nose to stop the bleeding. (Can puppets bleed?) "And my ebay account is Master_Of_The_Puppets, brat."

"You're the one nosebleeding, un! Can puppets even have nosebleeds anyways, un?" Deidara said angerly, crossing his arms.

"Apparently they can." Sasori said, finally controlling the blood. "It's not my fault have you seen yourself in the mirror?!" Sasori argued. "Any man would have a nosebleed, brat...and aren'y you going to follow Hidan? He has a picture...and you can bet that will be going around throughout the world."

"What the heck, do I really look like a female, un? Oshit, un" Deidara turned around and faced Hidan. "Give back the picture or else, un!"

Hidan was gone by the time Deidara turned to face him. "Or else what, beat? You can't kill him." Sasori murmured, using his puppet strings and bringing back Hidan anyways. "In that outfit, you do." Tobi ran back outside with a mirrir and gave it to Deidara and ran back in his room.

"Hmmm..." Deidara thought about something. Suddenly he a got an idea, a big lightbulb flashing ontop of his head. "Tobi, get down here, and bring something... fun for Hidan to wear, un"

"OKAY SEMPAI!" Tobi said from his room. "Thanks fangirls!" There was screaming in the distance as Tobi ran towards him and brought out...what looked like a small bikini top, shrot short, and boots that were waaay too long. Sasori coughed as Hidan struggled from the chakra strings. "F*CK NO AM I WEARING THAT!"

"Yes you are, un!" Deidara growled at Hidan. Grabbing the bikini top and trying to force Hidan to wear it. "Wait... Tobi, where the hell do you get these clothes from and why do you have them, un..?" Deidara asked Tobi.

"The fangirls threw them at me." Tobi said. "Tobi is a good boy!" Hidan was now tied by the chakra strings as Sasori got into a coughing fit, trying so hard not to laugh.

"I though Zetsu ate all of them, un?" Deidara asked, while trying to fit the boots on Hidan's feet. Suddenly, Kakuzu came downstairs to see what all the noise was about. He looked at Hidan, his eye twitching. "What the hell, Hidan?"

"Fangirls are like bunnies, sempai didn't you know that? They're experts at multiplying!" Tobi explained, having a chalkboard to show two bunnies on each other and two fangirls together and equalling to many figures of bunnies and fangirls. "Therefore, bunnies are fan girls in disguise!" "Don't ask me! Get them to f*cking stop!" "Hey Kakuzu." Konan said, appearing out of the blue (XD)"I'm pretty sure /a lot/ of fangirls are willing to pay to see Hidan in that...thing he's wearing."

Money signs appeared in Kakuzu's eyes. He used his threads to grab onto Hidan. "Alot of money, eh?(xD He's Canadian now?) Well, Hidan time to go meet your fans!"

"WAIT WHAT THE F*CK DON'T BETRAY YOUR PARTNER YOU SON OF A B*TCH!" Hidan roared as Sasori used the chakra strings to push him to the front door. "Deidara sempai, do you think that was evil? Hidan still has the camera."

Kakuzu had everything set up already. He had Hidan tied up in a little booth and a sign that said 'Meet Hidan! Breathing Same Air = $5 ~ Looking = $10 ~ Touching = $20 ~ Picture With Hidan = $50' Kakuzu sat in a chair in front, waiting for the fangirls. "No Tobi, it wasn't evil, we'll just get a picture of him and blackmail him, un" Deidara went up to Kakuzu. "Can I have a picture with him, un?" "fifty bucks" "But I was the one who dressed him up! Can't I just have one picture for free, un?" Deidara looked at Kakuzu with puppy dog eyes. "Fine, but only once, next time you gotta pay" Kakuzu then grabbed a camera and him and Deidara went in the booth. "Say Cheese"

"F*CK YOU!" "Hidan-san, what do Mice like to eat? Tobi wants to know!" "Cheese?" Snap. The Photo was taken. "YOU SON OF A B*TCH!" "...He fell for something completely stupid as that." Sasori murmured and looked around for Evil!Konan but she mysteriously disappeared

"Ahhahaha, un! Victory is mine, un!" Deidara held up the picture of him and Hidan together with Hidan... wearing that intresting outfit. "Wait, un...." Deidara looked at the photo. "Oh shoot, I'm still in the maid outfit, un!"

Sasori was laughing quietly in the sidelines as fangirls piled in. Most wanted pictures, so Kakuzu would get lots of money. "IT'S DEIDARA IN A MAID OUTFIT! I'LL PAY A HUNDRED!" "NO I'LL PAY /200/!" "Hey Kakuzu, looks like you'll get a lot of money bidding off Deidara." Hidan said evily

"Oh, shi-" Kakuzu football tackled Deidara onto the ground. "Sir, i'll pay $100!" "I'll pay $1000!" "I'LL PAY TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!" Kakuzu was doing a little jig, Deidara tied up behind him. "I'll bid one hundred thousand dollars!" Kakuzu's mouth was wide open, drool pouring out into a little river. A guy paddling a canoe was going up the Kakuzu-drool river. "SIR, I'LL PAY ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"

"I'll pay more if we had Sasodei!" One of the fangirls screamed out. "OH MY GOD A DUET! MAKE HIM PUT A WAITER OUTFIT!" "NO A SEXY NEKO! WITH A LEOTARD AND CAT EARS AND A TAIL!" "TEN MILLION DOLLARS FOR THE NEKO!" "A HUNDRED MILLION FOR THE WAITER!!!!" Sasori started to run up the stairs. Go puppet go!

Kakuzu's eyes glowed, turning around and shooting his threads up the stairs to grab Sasori. Then some more fangirls came and surprisingly.... "I'll pay one hundred dollars for a picture with Kakuzu-san!" A girl squealed. "I'll pay a thousand for Kakuzu to dress up in a suit!"

"I'LL MATCH THAT PRICE AND MORE FOR HIM TO KISS HIDAN!" The fangirls screamed. "We're surrounded by idiots." Sasori murmured, now tied next to Deidara with cat ears, a tail, and a leotard. "This is insulting and embarassing." Meanwhile, Tobi kncoked on Itachi's door. "Itachi-sannnn~ I brought you ice cream!"

Itachi opened the door slightly, and grabbed this icecream and closing the door once more in one swift motion. Itachi sat on his bed, his eyes red a puffy from crying. He started to eat the icecream. Suddenly there was a brightflash and Itachi stood on his bed... smiling?

Meanwhile, the fangirls were arguing about how much they'll pay for Kakuzu and Hidan, Deisaso, and also for Sasori to take off the Leotard and show the world if he was a little puppet or a big puppet. Large amounts of money were being screamed around. "Kakuzu, I think you went TOO far this time! I'm going to kill you when this is over!" Hidan growled.

Kakuzu turned around and faced Hidan, Sasori and Deidara. "u-uhuh... how about if I let you free, we go along with the... fangirls demands and make some money first? I'll give you uh.... a quarter of what we make each" Kakuzu whispered the last part, but loud enough to hear.

"You gotta be f*cking joking!" Hidan said. "Hi I'm bill Gates (LOLWTF) "If Kakuzu kisses Hidan and Deidara takes Sasori's leotard off with his mouth, not his hand mouths or the one on his chest, I'll give you my money and company." "Ooooooh...."

Kakuzu turned around. "SO... how about it guys?" Deidara thought for a moment. If they did this o ne little thing, they'll be the richest people in the world! He could get body guards so Tobi couldn't bother him.... "Alright, un" Kakuzu looked at Hidan and Sasori "How about you guys?" He said, while rubbing his hands together.

"If I get to kill all the fangirls." Hidan murmured. "Do I have a choice?" Sasori said, sighing

"Alright, you can kill them after Hidan" Kakuzu untied the three and faced Bill Gates. "Okay, a deal it is then"

"Oh my god, why am I doing this?" Sasori murmured to himself. "Okay! But you're still starting it!" Hidan murmured.

Kakuzu began spinning around, when he was done... he was wearing a suit?! The fangirls screamed. "Heheh, I think the fangirls lo-ove me" Kakuzu said cooly.

"Yeah yeah. Now just kiss me." Hidan murmured. "With tongue!" Bill Gates added.

Kakuzu leaned it to kiss Hidan. "I'm going to have to wash my mouth with soup later..." He pulled down his mask, exposing his lips. He leaned in towards Hidan.

Hidan closed his eyes so he didn't ahve to see the damn thing. Sasori sighed. 'I bet the brat won't even do it.' He thought.

Kakuzu finally... kissed Hidan!!! Squeals of joy could be heard in the crowd, flashes from pictures going on.

Tobi (somehow being there) Collected the money for the snapshot picture. Sasori and in deep thought, musing about Deidara already have running off in his maid outfit onto the street.

Kakuzu was done kissing Hidan, soap in his mouth now. "Alwrite nao, Daydawa and Sasory's durn!" He attempted to say with his mouth full, bubbles coming out.

Sasori's train of thoughts were broken. "What?" He said almost stupidly. "Go Deidara Sempaiiii~" Tobi said in a cheerleader outfit,..OH GOD.

Deidara came out to Sasori. "Uh... er Sasori danna don't take this the wront way, un.." Deidara said, blushing.

Sasori blinked and started to blush too. "I-I won't, brat." He said as the fangirls started to scream.

Deidara bent down and grabbed Sasori's leotard with his mouth, his face turning red. He quickly pulled it down and shut his eyes.

Sasori turned bright red as Deidara did that. Someone got a shot of his...thing before he quickly covered it. "We want to see more~" The fangirls screamed as money was being thrown around to make someone move his hands from that area.

Deidara just sat on the ground, faceing away from Sasori blushing. Kakuzu came up to Sasori and yelled at him to move his hands so they could make more money.

Sasori refused to move. "We'll throw more if /Deidara/ moves it for him!" The fangirls screamed. Sasori went bright red. "Nani?!"

Kakuzu was yelling at Deidara to move Sasori's hands. "If you do this you'll make enough money to kill Tobi and not get into trouble" Kakuzu said, saying things of the sort to convince deidara. Deidara started to reach for Sasori's hands, blushing, his hands shaking. He grabbed on and...

"H-Hey brat don't move them!" "A-And Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi said. "Please don't kill the Tobi! I am the mascot!"

Kakuzu kept telling Deidara to movr Sasori's hands. Deidara was about to... he was actually curious(xD) But suddenly... ITACHI CAME OUTSIDE SMILING.

Being distracted, Sasori lessens his grip around his private parts, so now Deidara would ahve an easier time prying his hands from his private part. "What the HELL ITACHI?!"

Kakuzu saw his chance, if Deidara wasn't going to he was! He grabbed Sasori's arms and yanked them up. Itachi was doing cartwheels around them while smiling for some reason.

Sasori gasped when Kakuzu tore his hands apart and blushed deep red as more pictures were taken and fangirls screaming and money being thrown around.

"WHOOO MONEY MONEY MONEY!" Kakuzu did cartwheels with Itachi, happy about all the money they were making. Deidara, not knowing what Kakuzu did, turned around and... fainted.

Sasori was too embarassed that Deidara actually saw how his danna looked under...the leotard. The pictures kept coming as Sasori fainted out of sheer embarassment.

Itachi stopped doing cartwheels and got a stick, poking all the people who fainted. "Wake up you guys, theres all these little cats wanting to eat(lolwtf?)"

No one got up. Tobi Waved at Itachi. "I'll help feed the cats!" He said, collecting all the money for Kakuzu on the ground. "I wonder how come the fangirls never screamed for yaoi yet? I'ms ure they'll have more money raining for some more yaoi...like...18+ years older." Tobi murmured to himself. "Oh well! Tobi is a good boy!"

Kakuzu got an idea.... "Hey fangirls! Who wants to buy Deidara and Sasori?!" He pointed to the fainted duo on the ground. The fangirls cheered "10 million!" "1 billion!"

"WHAT?" Sasori said, bolting from the ground as more pictures were taken. Sasori grabbed the leotard and put it on. "Deidara wake up! Kakuzu's going to sell us!"

Deidara rolled over. "ONE MORE MINUTE MOMMY, I'M DREAMING ABOUT THIS GUY I LIKE, UN" Deidara suddenly got up and looked around, blushed and scratched the back of his head. "Awww, man they woke up, now I can't sell them" Kakuzu said sadly.

"Not even sell them to have sex right here right now?" Tobi asked. "...I'm going to kill you." Sasori said. "Wait, what was that dream about Deidara? And mommy, are you serious?"

"Errr... well I don't really want to say what it was about, un" Deidara said, blushing. Suddenly the fangirls pointed at Tobi. "OMG ITS TOBI!" "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" "TOBI IS OBITO!" "NO HE'S MADARA!" "NO, OBITO!" The fangirls started fighting and hitting each other.

"Tell me immediately what was that?!" Sasori said, seeing Deidara blush. "...Boy? Deidara...you're either gay, bisexual or a girl. Which will you admit to?"

"I don't admit to anything, un" Suddenly more fangirls started to fight if either it was Obito or Madara Tobi was.

"Tobi is loved." Tobi said (I wanted to add b*tch to that sooo badly) "Oh yeah?" Sasori said, as his weird rope thing came out of his body and swirled around Deidara, the pointed side resting on his neck. "Want to admit something now, Deidara?"

"Uhhh... un" Deidara said, sweating. Suddenly Itachi came up. "Hey, I smiled at Kakuzu and I think he died." He pointed to Kakuzu who was lying on the ground (surprisingly no fangirls glomping him) "Anyways, Deidara just had to say that was great the other night. It felt gooood. I like cheese. Oh and Sasori, you're a cat? YOU MUST BE HUNGRY!" Itachi then face planted on the floor for somereason and passed out. "Errr... wtf, un. He needs help".

"...And I found out you'e either gay or bisexual...but you could still be a girl." He said as the sharp end slithered slowly down...past the top of the dress...almost to the bottom of it..

"WHAT THE HELL DANNA, UN!" Deidara shouted. The fangirls were cheering.

"Do you want to /tell/ me now or do I have to find out myself, brat?" Sasori said, a smug smirk on his lips.

"I WONT ADMIT TO ANYTHING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, I LIKE CHEESE TOO! UN!" Deidara shouted in Sasori's face. 


	4. Three Letters: WTF

"If you say so." The thing slid under as Deidara's underwear was ripped off. "Let's see what you're hiding under the dress." More money was flying in the air as well as fangirl screams.

Deidara fainted. Suddenly Kisame came outside. "Itachi---? OMG!" Kisame stood, jaw open with a WTF face at what was happening.

Sasori looked at Kisame. "Kakuzu made us do t--oh he fainted." Sasori said, retrieving his weird cord thing but Deidara's dress was lifted anyhow. Sasori fainte.d Fangirls took shots. Sasuke suddenly walked in "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

Itachi's ear twitched. He got up quickly and looked around. "FOOLISH BROTHER, YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE COOKIES!"

"No the cookies!" Sasuke said, curling up on the floor and broke out crying. "Aww, you made Sas-gay sad, Itachi-san" Tobi said. "...A BILLION TO SEE THEM MAKE OUT!"

"I don't want to make out" Itachi sobbed, and rolled on the floor. Suddenly Pein came walking out the door. "What the hell, everyone come inside NOW!"

"Seriously!" Konan said, putting on her Akatsuki robe. "What were you doing, Leader-sama and Konan-san?" "nothing." "I heard noises from Leader-sama's bedroom!" "...We were palying a game." "Can Tobi paly too?!" "No." "Aww...but Tobi's a good boy. Leader-sama, whose going to carry the fainted people?" Tobi said, pointing to Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, and wth Zetsu?

"You pick them up Tobi. If you need help I bet the fangirls will if you... uh... show them your face!" Pein said with a :D Face.

"Okay!" Tobi said, taking off his mask. The fangirls screamed, pciked them up and started all running up the stairs. He had his back to Konan and Pein and put his mask back on. "There!"

Pein had an OMG face. "Hey Tobi, what do you look like? I WANNA SEE DAMNIT!" Pein yelled angerly.

"Then tou have to let me play the game you and Konan were playing!" Tobi said. Konan blushed slightly, only slightly.

"Uh fine. We were playing.. Guitar Hero! yeah.... so, show us your face and you can play too" Pein said.

"Okay!" Tobi said, starting to pull of his mask, but Sasuke woke up and ran up the stairs, with Tobi, and was gone.

NOOOOOOOOO, WHY! WHYYYY!" Pein yelled, pounding his fist on the ground.

"Because you tend to lose things when you ask for them." Konan murmured. "But I've got a headache now from you."

"I have medicines! They're bubblegum flavoured~! It'll make your headache go away, do you want some?" Pein said holding a bottle of... medicine in front of Konan

Konan blinked at it and stared at it then took the bottle and drank it. "IT'S A LOVE POTION!" Some old granny shouted. Konan, having swallowed the entire contents of the bottle already, threw the bottle at the granny

Suddenly Itachi got up and started dancing around the granny. "THE WITCH IS DEAD~!" He began singing, then fell over on the granny. "WEASEL DIED TOO" He shouted, then passed out.

"Dot. Dot. Dot." Konan said outloud, then dragged Pein to the stairs. "C'mon, we're going climbing again."

"Climbing, climbing, up the hotel stairs~ When days are hot, when days are cool, climbing the staircase!" Pein began singing as Konan dragged him.

Konan dropped him for that, going on an origami bird and flew up the stairs, leaving Pein there to WALK his way up. Meanwhile, Sasori decided that he was awake and looked around. "..." Then he looked down. Sasori grabbed his cloak and put it on quickly

"Hehehe, silly woman" Pein said to himself as he got up and... took the elevator. Deidara was still fainted on the ground when Sasori got up.

One of the elevadors came down as it opened, rvealing Zetsu eating someone as he looked at Leader-sama. "OCCUPIED." Zetsu said, probably the first thing he said through this rp as the elevador door shut on him. The other elevador was broken and the last elevador said 'floor 9001'

Pein sweatdropped. Suddenly Itachi appeared out of no where. "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!" Pein sweatdropped again. "Gyahh, I'm not climbing... TIME TO SEND IN THE PEIN RANGERS!" He took out his cell phone, it had an 'intresting' picture of Konan on it. He dialed 1-666-PEIN-RNGS.

Sasori sighed, grabbed Deidara and dragged him next to Pein, waiting for en elevador as well.

Suddenly the wall broke down and there stood Pein's other bodies wearing Power Ranger suits. "THE PEIN RANGERS ARE HERE!" "Whooo!" Pein yelled. "Can you guys make a new elevator?" He asked. "YES WE SHALL!" The larger Pein, wearing pink went up to one of the elevators and started sucking it in like Kirby. He then turned into an elevator.

"Can I come with her, Leader-Sama?" Sasori said, wondeirng why the other elevador hasn't even MOVED yet. "And Deidara? ...I'll rip off Tobi's mask for you. In front of you."

"HELL YES!" Pein yelled, dragging the both of them into the elevator. "THE PEIN RANGERS SAVE THE DAY AGAIN!"

'I think this is why Konan quits the Akatsuki in the manga.' Sasori thought. SPOILER ALERT! SPOIDLER ALERT! "damn you spoiler alerts! You're just as bad as the Neighborhood watch!"

"Oh yeah... well you die!" Pein yelled at Sasori, crossing his arms.

"So do you!" Sasori said. "And Deidara gets himself blown up, Hidan gets buried under the ground...and...Zetsu splits in half. But does anyone seem to care? Nooooo." Sasori yelled back.

"Zetsu looks like sticky cheese when he splits.." Pein said, licking his lips.

"...Leader-sama, I am not mentally scarred and Deidara pulled off a leotard with his mouth. I think I had enoguh brain rapage for today."

Pein looked down at Deidara. "It looks like you're carrying your girlfriend" he giggled.

"...It's called /Sasodei/ for a reason, Leader-sama." Sasori said. Meanwhile, Konon already arrived at the top with Tobi holding on the open buttom in the last elevador. "So /that's/ why." She said to herself, walking into her room.

Suddenly Pein took out five big bottles of 40s and started chugging one down. "W-want some?" He said to Sasori, holding out a bottle.

"...Deidara wants some." Sasori said. "Besides, I think /Tobi/ wants to see Deidara act like a chick. And also make him take his mask off." You evil, evil puppet. "Did you hear that?"

"The walls they speak to us... Too bad I don't understand wall" Pein said, rubbing his hands on the elevator. Deidara started to open his eyes. "Ugh, I feel like I got attacked by a stallion duck, un.."

"No. You just opened your eyes at the wrong time, brat." Sasori said, unceremoniously dropping DEidara on the floor. "Okay, now chug the damn thing down his throat."

Pein opened a bottle and shoved it in Deidara's mouth, holding down his arms with his other hand and sitting on him so he couldn't move his leg. Deidara was mumbling, and trying to get free, but ended up drinking more. "DRINK IT! IT'S FOURTY OUNCES OF PURE HEA-VUN!" Pein shouted to Deidara.

'This should be good.' Sasori thought. 'Deidara drunk? That's...' I THINK IT'S FUNNIER IF SASORI WAS DRUNK. "...I think the walls are speaking again."

Pein stood up. Deidara had his eyes half closed, but he was still awake. He stumbled upwards, falling over and grabbing the side of the elevator. "B-BLAST OFF, UN!" he shouted.

"...Team Rocket much, brat? I tihnk he;s watching pokemon to prove that Sasuke indeed does NOT know pokemon. Electricity is horribly conducted by ground."

"NO UN I-ITS AN EPIC SONG, UN! E-E-EVER-Y-BODY GOIN TO T-THE PARTY H-HAVING A R-REAL GOOD T-TIME!" Deidara started singing randomly again.

". . . I think Deidara's /too/ drunk." Sasori said 'as-a-matter-of-fact'. "...Or he needs to drink more. He;d be scarier if he started to sing 'I'm so pretty' or 'bang bang bang.'

Deidara grabbed another 40 off of Pein and chugged it. "NO THIS SONG IS EPIC IT'S CALLED B.Y.O.B., UN!"

"...Wait Pein how did yu get alcohol in this place anyhow?" Sasori asked, curiously. "...And why hasn't this elevador moved yet?" WE ARE THE TALKING WALLS, B***H. "...I don't speak wall or stupid." You're mean!

"I got them from this odd guy with a lightning scar on his head...." Pein mumbled. "I think I know why we havn't moved." BANG BANG BANG! Pein kicked the elevator wall and it started moving "He fell asleep".

"Oh." Sasori said. "...I think Deidara is going to die of alcohol poisoning if he gets one more of those. I'm getting him a virgin drink next time." ...NO SASORI! DONT' DO IT! "...I said virgin /drink/! ...God dammit I understand wall and stupid."

Ping. The elevator finally reached the top, and really quickly too somehow. Pein headed to his room. "Well, i'll leave you two lovebirds alone" He said, grinning.

"...What the hell Pein." Sasori said. He growled as he dragged Deidara and some how got a bttle of Advil and put one in his mouth. "Advil: It kills the pain." (Get it got it? Good.)

"B-but I did-ent know-uh poopehts got sick" Deidara asked, sitting on the floor.

"Deidara just shut your mouths. /All/ of them. And stop wearing that damn maid outfit!" Sasori said. Tobi finally came out of the elevador and snatched the Advil. "NO! NOW I'LL HAVE TO BE LEADER OF THE AKATSUKI!"

"Y-you, leader?" Deidara giggled at Tobi. "But your just an orange flavoured lollipop!" Deidara said, pointing to a plant.

"I can assure you, my dear, that I am not orange flavored." Tobi cooed. "...I've been mind raped MORE than enough for today! When will this vacation END?" He said, running with Deidara and slamming them both in his room as Sasori went to rummage in his own suitcase to get decent clothes for Deidara to wear.

"BUT I WANT A LOLLIPOP!" Deidara screamed, rolling on the floor. BANG BANG BANG "Hey keep it down with your Sasodeiness! I'm counting my moneys!" Kakuzu, who was now in his room yelled at them in the room.

"Hey! I didn't complain when you tied Hidan with your tentacles! And Deidara jsut keeps hitting your wall because he's more drunk than that last time Itachi went to the bar and made out with that pink haired freak and my grandmother!" Sasori snapped back.

"THEY ARN'T TENTACLES, THEY'RE THREADS!" Kakuzu sobbed, you could clearly hear him crying. "Awww, Mr. Spotted Octopus! Dun cry, un!" Deidara said while hugging a lamp.

"...Your money is getting wet." Sasori said harshly. "Deidara do you know how to take off your clothes?" Sasori said. "And put on clothes? Even when you're drunk I still think i don't ahve to dress and undress you like some Barbie doll."

Suddenly, Deidara jumped up with the lamp, using it as a microphone. "I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN A---" He sang horribly while skipping out of Sasori's room.

"............." Sasori chased after Deidara, grabbed him, dragged him back to his room. "You're NOT goign out like that anymore!" He said. He gave him an Akatsuki robe to Deidara. But due to magically god-mode powers, they suddenly turned into... "What the hell is that?" ...something called a G-String.

"Omg DANNA, UN! THE PENGUINS WANT TO GO BACK HOME, THEY'RE ON YOUR HAIR, EATING YOUR CHILDREN, UN!" Deidara screamed, grabbing the gstring and hopping on Sasori's head.

Sasori did the inevitable, fall. "That's IT someone else but your danna is going to take care of you! But everyone else would sell you off the street or rape you!" Sasori groaned. "...Get off my face!"

"But your face is like sticky cheese, un!...." Deidara began licking his lips. "STICKY CHEESE!"

"Deidara!" Sasori said, trying to pry the other man off of him. "What have you been eating Deidara?!"

"I HAD TWO FOURTIES, UN!" Deidara shouted. "GIVE ME MY DAMN STICKY CHEESE, UN!"

"...Are you drunk, compeltely sane, or both?!" Sasori groaned. "I don't have sticky cheese!" "He does. You'd just have to work for it!" Tobi yelled from outside of his room. "...I need to find out how to make myself more puppet by not having a brain. Cant' rape a brain that's not there."

"I'm the fourth option, un!" Deidara said angerly, crossing his arms. "B-but what do I has to do for teh sticky cheese, un?

"Well first--~" "Tobi. NO! No sticky cheese! "It's in his pants. Which he doens't have on." Sasori just remember thatall he had one was cat ears, a tail, and a zipped up Akatsuki Cloak.

"THE STICKY CHEESE IN IN YOUR PANTS, UN?!" Deidara shouted, pointing at Sasori with a bit 'OBJECTION' in the back. Deidara then ran full force at Sasori, his eyes turning read and pouncing on him. "GIMME CHEESE DAMNIT, UN!"

"NO! GET OFF OF ME!" Sasori said, keeping Deidara off him using his legs on his stomach and swatting his hands away with his own hands. 'Thank god Deidara's not the tallest male.' He thought.

"NO GIVE ME CHEESE OR BE PREPARED, UN...." Deidara then suddenly grabbed a fly swatter (Out of no where o-o) And began swatting the air around him. "OH NOES WE GOTTA GO, THIS IS BAT COUNTRY, UN!"

"...Hey Kakuzu!" Sasori yelled so the other can hear him. "Find a way for Deidara to NOT be durnk and I'll pay you!" "I'll pay more if you stay there!" Tobi said from outside the door.

Deidara had mad fear in his eyes. He rolled into the ball on the ground sobbing. "NO WE CAN'T GET OUT OF THE BAT COUNTRY! WHY, UN!"

"..." Sasori glared at the wall. "Kakuzu if you don't make Deidara undrunk, I'm /burning/ through the wall and all your money with it!"

"Oh no, these walls are fire proof, water proof, electric proof, rat proof, the king from burger king proof and Hidan proof. You can't touch my money!" Then suddenly 'Can't touch this!' started playing.

"Well...I'm pretty sure it's not Chuck Norris proof!" Sasori growled. "Or Tobi proof!" Tobi said, bouncing on Kakuzu's bed (How did he get there so fast?)

"OH NO IT'S NOT CHUCK NORRIS PROOF I MUST FIX IT!" Kakuzu then turned and faced Tobi. "TOBI GET THE HELL OUT OR I'LL TENTACLE'D YOUS"

"Okay! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said, running out. "...How can you?" Sasori said. "Let's see if it's Deidara proof too...hey Deidara." Sasori whispered to him. "You can get out of bat country /and/ get some sticky cheese - a lot of it - if you go through that wall."

"OKAY UN" Deidara ran through the wall, but not through Kakuzu's but Tobi's! (OHNOES)

"...Deidara! The other way!" Sasori called to him. "Oh and...you're supossed you change out of that maid costume!" He called

Deidara didn't hear Sasori but fell on the ground with his fly swatter. "HAH THE BATS WILL NEVER GET ME. I AM THE BAT SWATTING KING, UN".

"Deidara-Sempai~" Tobi said, running in his room. "WE HAVE JOINT ROOM!" He said. "Deidara! Ummm...there's an evil bat in the next room." Tobi said, pointing to Sasori's room. "Big evil bat! DEidara-Sempai can't fight it! Now Deidara-Sempai shall stay in Tobi's room! And I sell your stuff on ebay again!"

"OMG DANNA IS AN EVIL BAT?! KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, UN!" Deidara screamed throwing his fly swatter at Sasori. "MR ORANGE LOLLIPOP PROTECT ME FROM BAT COUNTRY, UN!"

Sasori grabbed it. "...Deidara..." Sasori said, slapping the fly swatter on his hand and glared at him as he practically stomped into Tobi's room. "Kinky." Hidan said as he continued to watch Kakuzu count his money. "At least I'm not bleeding on your bed. Be f*cking happy, b*tch."

Deidara screamed and held Tobi in front of him. "BY THEM NAME OF ORANGE LOLLIPOPS I HEREBY DELETE YOU, UN!" Kakuzu who was in his room, counting money glared over at Hidan. "Why are you in here anyways?"

"No idea." Hidan said. Sasori started to hit Tobi with the fly swatter until Tobi ran and jumped outside his window. Sasori started to do the same for Deidara. "Bad brat bad down!" "'Sides, this is f*cking entertainment in the other room." Hidan pointed out.

"Hmmm, maybe we should sell some tickets to fan girls to come watch this" Kakuz said, stroking an invisable beard of his and looking all evilish. Deidara was screaming and flailing his arms untill one of his hands bit Sasori.

"...You know that doesn;t hurt! 'm a friggin' Puppet, Deidara!" He said, trying to get the handmouth off him. "...For minature mouths, these things don't let go." "Probably. They'd probably pay more if they were rolling around having hot sex or something." Hidan pointed out.

"Then go do something about it." Kakuzu growled, not taking his eyes of his money.

"Get your damn thread things to do it! Chugging 40s down Sasori's throat should do the trick. If Puppets can have nosebleeds, I'm pretty damn sure they can get drunk."

"I'm busy counting, you go do it." Meanwhile Pein was in his room, the pillow over his ears. "WE CAN'T STOP HERE THIS IS BAT COUNTRY!" he screamed. Still drunk.

Konan slammed his door open. She grabbed a case of 40 and closed the door and she knocked on Kakuzu's door. "What the f--oh." Hidan said, opening the door, to see Konan as she shoved the 40 pack on him and walked away. "...Sweet!" Hidan ran over to Tobi's room.

Deidara was still screaming, his hand mouthes attempting to bite Sasori. "GET OFF ME YOU EVIL BAT KING, UN!"

"What are you talking about!? Get off of ME!" He said. Hidan slammed opened the door. "Hey Deidara! Give this entire thing to the evil bat! It makes him go away! And if you drink some too, it...um...repels any more bats! So ahve some god damn hot sex so Kakuzu can make some money!" "...When did you become Kakuzu's b*tch?" Sasori said. "...F*ck you puppet."

Deidara took the bottle from Hidan. "Thank you Mr. non-spotted cow, un!" He popped open the bottle and leapt at Sasori. "TAKE THIS BAT KING, UN!"

Sasori fled from Deidara. "Spotted cow?! He's drunk." Hidan growled, going back into Kakuzu's room. "F*cking happy now?" Sasori leapt from Tobi's wall to his wall and broke through his door and fled down the stairs

"NOO THE BAT KING GOT AWAY, UN!" Deidara then looked at the bottle. "MR COW SAID IT'LL MAKE BATS GO BYEBYE IF I DRINK, UN!" Deidara then started to chug down the bottle.

Sasori stopped, remembering that...Deidara was more drunk now. Sasori ran back up the stairs, just in time to snatch the remaining bottles away. "No more for you!"

Deidara was seated on the floor hiccuping. "W-well, hellu thar, un. Me-ow!" Deidara said, grinning ear to ear.

Dot dot dot. "Okay, seriously, what was that?" Sasori said, slapping his face. "Deidara, I command you to go to sleep...Maid kitten thing."

"I-i'll go to sleep I-i guess, un" Deidara mummbled as he crawled into Tobi's bed and closed his eyes.

"...Now where to hide these ..." Hidan came back in the room and took them. "MINE." And then he escasped to his own room. "...Kakuzu, I'll pay you to stop Hidan from drinking that."

"How much?" Kakuzu called from his room, still counting his money(Where the heck does he get all this money? Does he keep winning the lottery? o-O)

(All the fangirl's money and Bill Gate's company)  
"...Tobi's bank. You know he has a lot, have you seen his slash of chocolate that keeps growing?"

"Hmmm..." Suddenly threads went out from under is door and went across the hall and underneath Hidan's door...

"F*CK YOU KAKUZU!" Hidan said, hitting the threads with an empty 40 bottle. Wow that was fast. When the bottle finally broke, he started to hit the threads with full ones.

"HIDAN GIVE ME THE BOTTLES, NOW!" Kakuzu yelled from across the hall, still trying to grab at the bottles with his threads.

On of the threads managed to grab a bottle, but Hidan had more and whacked it hard against the thread as it broke. "F*CK YOU!" He yelled, which his yell echoed through the hall. Finally the threads somehow from Hidan's constant abuse, managed to grab a hold of his leg. "GET THE F*CK OFF!"

"NUUU GIMME BOTTLES NOW!" Kakuzu yelled back. Suddenly Kisame came up from the elevator holding Itachi, passing by everyone to the end of the hallway and going into his room... WITH ITACHI without even paying attention to what was going on.

"No get your own f*cking bottles!" He said, continuing his abuse to the threads. -Five minutes later- Hidan was sucessfully tied by by Kakuzu's thread but only one bottle was intact.

"I will get that bottle.." Kakuzu growled, coming into Hidans room now. Suddenly the music from those wild west movies came on when the two cowboy dudes have a showdown 8D

"HE'S GOING TO F*CKING RAPE ME!" Hidan shouted. "Good for you." Sasori murmured, going to his own bed and falling asleep. Konan was already asleep, zetsu was outside, poking Tobi's bloody and mangled body.

"I'll go if you give me the bottle..." Kakuzu said, glaring into Hidan's eyes. Pein, aswell as Konan finally fell asleep. Itachi and Kisame was doing who knows what...

They were playing strip poker. Anyhow..."You ahve to UNTIE MY HANDS FIRST YOU B*TCH!" Hidan howled as Zetsu somehow magically flew into Hidan's room and out his door. "...I'll pretend I didn't see tha.t"

"Fine..." Kakuzu let the threads holding onto Hidan let go and made them go back into his arms or whatever XD

Hidan murmured bloody murder as he stepped all over the glass and went to get the bottle and gave it to him. "If you wanted a f*cking dirnk you should've said somethign /earlier/. "

Kakuzu, with his threads now in him.. stood there. When the bottle broke earlier his threads got soaked in alcohol, but since he wasn't in the room he didn't know. Kakuzu got drunk real easily since he never drinked(Too expensive) and now with it circulating in him got all drunk and insane looking :D "Well hello there smexeh" He said, walking towards to Hidan.(osnap)

"...Holy...Sh*t." Hidan said, running for the window. "This is one of the times I'm glad I can't die! Running out of a window and flying off the building won't kill meeee!" Hidan said. But for some odd reason, the window was made of super saiyan glass so Hidan went SMACK instead of SMASH into the glass window and fell off the glass, cartoon style.

Kakuzu wrapped his threads around Hidan, aswell as closing and locking the door. "Hehehehe..."

"H-Hey Kakuzu." Hidan said nervously. "C-Can you let your partner go? Please? I promise not to f*cking swear...I'll pay you...uh...and...other sh*t?"

"But why should I do that?" Kakuzu whispered in Hidans ear. (omg now he's standing right next to him o: )

"..." Hidan was at a lost of words as to 'why'. "...You're drunk?" He said. (We should totally skip the rapage lol)

Okay so the people writing this popped out of no where and the screen stopped. "Okay so we'll be changing scenes now! Alright..." One of them took a remote out and clicked a button the scene changed to the outside. The moon was out and the stars shone since there were no clouds in the sky.

"sweet!" Said the other perosn. "We can do stuff like that!" Meanwhile, Zetsu decided that since it was night time he should sleep so buried half his body, and closing the venus fly trap. Tobi twitched on the ground

"OKAY SO. Everyone is asleep... except for a few maybe ;D So let's fast foward to morning!" The girl pushed a fast foward button on the remote and the moon began to set and the sun began to rise.

"Sweet we can do that!" She said. "Okay I think we should poof." she murmured to the other. "Hidan's going to have a pain in his ass." She said, giggling as she magically poofed. Sasori woke as the sun began to rise, goign to his window and looked down, seeing Zetsu bask in the sun's ray. Konan woke up and awned then fell back asleep. Hidan was in a corner. 'I have been violated.' He thought. -c Tobi twitched on the ground.

Deidara woke up, stretching. "Argh, my head hurts like hell, un." He looked around. "Hey this isn't my room, un! It's..." he spotted Tobi's laptop. "Tobi's room, un! What the hell!". Pein started to wake. "Ugh.. my head hurts. He then rolled over but fell out of his bed. 


End file.
